5 ways to recover yourself as a new mother
With the vomit-stained clothes, eye bags so big they’re considered carry on at the airport and of course that new found mum-tum, it’s easy to understand why so many mothers feel different following the birth of a baby.
With the vomit-stained clothes, eye bags so big they’re considered carry on at the airport and of course that new found mum-tum, it’s easy to understand why so many mothers feel different following the birth of a baby. Add in extreme sleep deprivation, the (often) monotony of life with a newborn and BAM! You’ve got yourself a bona fide identity crisis. I mean, I used to be really cool. I used to wear non-vomit stained clothes and do cool child-free things. I used to have clean hair that smelled nice. I used to have a job where people respected me. I used to have personal hygiene standards For God’s sake. Now I spend my days wiping poo off things that I have no clue how it got there, swaying incessantly from side to side (even when not holding a baby) like some kind of deranged human pendulum, wondering if I can go ONE. MORE. DAY. before showering aaaand existing in a perpetual state of feeding my ever-starving children . Seriously, I hear “Muuuummmmmmmeeeeeeee!!!” so many times in a day, I hardly respond to my actual name anymore.
I’m not going to lie, being a mother is freaking hard work and it’s totally normal to feel like you’ve lost your identity when you step into the motherhood chasm. While caring for baby (and other kiddies) is obviously critical, self care and attention is also really important in rediscovering yourself. But I have no time for such frivolity! I hear you say, I’m raising an actual live human over here, woman! We hear you, sister. Prioritising “you” can be challenging, but we guarantee you’ll adult/parent/mother/dress better after you’ve thrown in a bit of “me time”. And we’re not talking about a four day meditation retreat here (although great if you can get it!) - making time for mummy or focusing on you for a change can be simple, yet sanity saving.
1. Me time
Okay, it may sound silly but we know how easy it can be to get wound up caring for your new bub and wammo!: six months has slipped by in a bubble of burps, bibs and boobs. Amid the stress of learning the mum ropes and generally running on a few hours sleep less than we’d like, it’s easy to lose track of time, and also yourself. Do you know if you book something you are 87.4 times more likely to do it? Yes, we totally made that figure up, but the point is that by scheduling something you are far more likely to stick to it. Sure, there’ll be the times when bubby chucks a hissy fit and it won’t work out but there’ll be times where it will! Huzzah! Line up daddy or a relative to mind the baby and do something you loved doing before your little one arrived, something that made you feel ‘you’. This could be as simple as watching an episode from your favourite TV series, grabbing a coffee with your friend, going for a run, or even just showering solo. Holler!
Now this one can be tough for many of us. A changed postnatal body can seriously affect how we feel about ourselves. Being too small for maternity clothes but too big for your regular clothes can feel like a depressing limbo stage for many women. Avoid comparing yourself (or your baby for that matter) to others and focus on the momentous thing you just did - created and birthed an actual human. Holy shit, lady! This can be a big adjustment for many of us but it’s important to keep things in perspective. If you find it unsettling not being able to fit into your old clothes, pack them up and put them away somewhere. If you can afford to, buy yourself a couple of things that make you feel good about your yourself right now. If you are focused on losing some baby weight, ensure you get your doctor’s clearance before embarking on an exercise program, go easy and always be kind to yourself.
3. Join a social club
If you’ve got friends or family having babies and going through the same stage of life, great! Feeling connected to others and sharing experiences is really important in discovering your mum mojo. If your inner circle is not yet in the same stage, having a baby can actually be isolating for many women who feel their friends don’t understand or appreciate their newfound struggles. Joining a mother’s group can be a great way to meet other people in the same boat, hear that you are totally not alone in said boat and hear about some other paddles that have gotten mothers out of shit creek. Importantly, it also encourages you to leave the house and some days that’s all we need.
4. Celebrate yourself and your body
It’s something that is so easy to do, and so hard to stop - especially in today’s day and age. With technology surrounding us it’s so easy to scroll through your Instagram feed, or turn on your TV and see something about how Kylie Jenner lost all her baby weight...bear in mind she is only 21 so of course she bounced back so quickly! If you’re constantly questioning yourself it’s hard to feel good about yourself. You need to remember you just gave birth to another life, and that in itself is amazing. Don’t stress about how you’re looking, or why your baby isn’t doing something someone else’s bub is, you’re not the same person, so don’t put the pressure on yourself to try and be like them.
5. Focus on sleep
Sleep? Ah yes, sleep - I think I remember you. We used to be good old buddies until my new buddies arrived and rudely kicked you to the curb. It’s not until you become a parent that you realise why sleep deprivation is used so effectively as a torture technique. Sleep deprivation affects your mood, your food choices, your wellbeing and how you view yourself, so make sure you really focus on getting as much of it as you can. It can be tricky with a non sleeping baby, but there are a few things you can do to maximise your chances of a solid snooze. Limiting screen time especially in the 30 - 60 minutes before bub has a nap or sleep can greatly assist you in falling to sleep quickly - an enviable skill to have with a newborn. Prioritising sleep over household chores is also important in the early days. I’ll just throw on a load of washing can quickly turn into a 45 minute power clean by which stage baby has woken up and you’ve missed your power nap window. Listen to your body and know that the washing can wait if you’re really zonked.
Having a baby fundamentally changes so much about you and the reality is we will never be the same. Am I the same person I was before having children? Absolutely not. Rediscovering yourself after having a baby can take time but with the patience and understanding you show your own children, you may come to discover you’re actually someone you are really proud to be: someone very, very cool.
The term ‘Mammojo’ or ‘us’ or ‘we’ refers to the owner of the website whose registered office is 32 Hibiscus Avenue, ASHGROVE, QLD, 4060, AU. Our ABN is 20609300496. The term ‘you’ refers to the user or viewer of our website.
The content of the pages of this website is for your general information and use only. It is subject to change without notice.
Neither we nor any third parties provide any warranty or guarantee as to the accuracy, timeliness, performance, completeness or suitability of the information and materials found or offered on this website for any particular purpose. You acknowledge that such information and materials may contain inaccuracies or errors and we expressly exclude liability for any such inaccuracies or errors to the fullest extent permitted by law.
Your use of any information or materials on this website is entirely at your own risk, for which we shall not be liable. It shall be your own responsibility to ensure that any products, services or information available through this website meet your specific requirements.
This website contains material which is owned by or licensed to us. This material includes, but is not limited to, the design, layout, look, appearance and graphics. Reproduction is prohibited other than in accordance with the copyright notice, which forms part of these terms and conditions.
All trademarks reproduced in this website, which are not the property of, or licensed to the operator, are acknowledged on the website.
Unauthorised use of this website may give rise to a claim for damages and/or be a criminal offence.
From time to time, this website may also include links to other websites. These links are provided for your convenience to provide further information. They do not signify that we endorse the website(s). We have no responsibility for the content of the linked website(s).
Your use of this website and any dispute arising out of such use of the website is subject to the laws of Australia.
We are committed to ensuring that your privacy is protected. Should we ask you to provide certain information by which you can be identified when using this website, then you can be assured that it will only be used in accordance with this privacy statement.
We may change this policy from time to time by updating this page. You should check this page from time to time to ensure that you are happy with any changes.
What we collect
We may collect the following information:
name and job title
contact information including email address
demographic information such as postcode, preferences and interests
other information relevant to customer surveys and/or offers
What we do with the information we gather
We require this information to understand your needs and provide you with a better service, and in particular for the following reasons:
Internal record keeping.
We may use the information to improve our products and services.
We may periodically send promotional emails about new products, special offers or other information which we think you may find interesting using the email address which you have provided.
From time to time, we may also use your information to contact you for market research purposes. We may contact you by email, phone, fax or mail. We may use the information to customise the website according to your interests.
We are committed to ensuring that your information is secure. In order to prevent unauthorised access or disclosure, we have put in place suitable physical, electronic and managerial procedures to safeguard and secure the information we collect online.
A cookie is a small file which asks permission to be placed on your computer's hard drive. Once you agree, the file is added and the cookie helps analyse web traffic or lets you know when you visit a particular site. Cookies allow web applications to respond to you as an individual. The web application can tailor its operations to your needs, likes and dislikes by gathering and remembering information about your preferences.
We use traffic log cookies to identify which pages are being used. This helps us analyse data about webpage traffic and improve our website in order to tailor it to customer needs. We only use this information for statistical analysis purposes and then the data is removed from the system.
Overall, cookies help us provide you with a better website by enabling us to monitor which pages you find useful and which you do not. A cookie in no way gives us access to your computer or any information about you, other than the data you choose to share with us.
You can choose to accept or decline cookies. Most web browsers automatically accept cookies, but you can usually modify your browser setting to decline cookies if you prefer. This may prevent you from taking full advantage of the website.
Links to other websites
Our website may contain links to other websites of interest. However, once you have used these links to leave our site, you should note that we do not have any control over that other website. Therefore, we cannot be responsible for the protection and privacy of any information which you provide whilst visiting such sites and such sites are not governed by this privacy statement. You should exercise caution and look at the privacy statement applicable to the website in question.
Controlling your personal information
You may choose to restrict the collection or use of your personal information in the following ways:
whenever you are asked to fill in a form on the website, look for the box that you can click to indicate that you do not want the information to be used by anybody for direct marketing purposes
if you have previously agreed to us using your personal information for direct marketing purposes, you may change your mind at any time by writing to or emailing us.
We will not sell, distribute or lease your personal information to third parties unless we have your permission or are required by law to do so. We may use your personal information to send you promotional information about third parties which we think you may find interesting if you tell us that you wish this to happen.
If you believe that any information we are holding on you is incorrect or incomplete, please write to or email us as soon as possible at the above address. We will promptly correct any information found to be incorrect.